Career NorthStar News - Issue 11: The Power of Understanding Yourself and Others at Work
- Feb 10
- 4 min read
Success at work isn’t just about being smart, talented, or overflowing with great ideas. One of the biggest early‑career unlocks is learning how to navigate people - starting with yourself.
If you can get good at three things, you’ll stand out and put yourself ahead:
Understanding who you are at work
Understanding how others operate
Adapting your style so you can collaborate with others effectively
This isn’t about being perfect or pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about awareness, intention, and the flexibility to meet people where they are - so you can all move forward together.
1. Understanding Yourself
Before you can work well with others, you have to understand yourself. Emotional intelligence and self‑awareness aren’t soft skills - they’re practical tools that help you stay grounded, communicate clearly, and keep your balance when things get stressful.
It’s worth knowing:
What motivates you
What drains you
What triggers you
How you show up under pressure
What you need from others to do your best work
When you understand your patterns, you can manage them - rather than letting them manage you.
Feedback: The Shortcut to Growing Faster
Self‑awareness isn’t a one‑time exercise - it’s a muscle. You strengthen it by checking in with yourself during and after projects, tough moments, and even wins. Stay curious about your behaviors and patterns, and be willing to question whether how others experience you matches how you see yourself. One of the most effective ways to do this is by asking for feedback.
And feedback isn’t just about fixing what’s not working - it’s also how you uncover what you’re naturally great at. The key is to invite feedback regularly and take it in without getting defensive when it’s tough to hear.
Easy ways to get feedback:
Ask a colleague right after a meeting or presentation
Set up periodic check‑ins with your mentor or leader
The more comfortable you get with feedback - positive or negative - the faster you grow. And remember: asking for feedback doesn’t make you look weak. It makes you look committed to getting better.
Ask yourself:
How did I handle that?
What was my communication style?
What worked?
What would I change next time?
Feedback is an essential part of understanding yourself. It gives you the perspective to answer questions like, “What would I change next time?” more effectively. These small moments of reflection compound. Over time, they help you show up with more intention, make better decisions, and lead yourself - and others - more effectively.
Your Professional Brand
Whether you think about it or not, you’re building your professional brand every single day. Your brand is the story people tell about working with you - your reliability, your communication, your attitude, and the quality of your work.
A simple rule of thumb: Deliver at a quality level that makes people want to work with you again.
Consistency builds trust. Trust opens doors.
2. Understanding Others
Once you understand yourself, the next step is understanding the people around you. A lot of workplace friction comes from assuming everyone thinks, communicates, or prioritizes the same way we do.
Roles Shape Priorities
People’s roles often reveal what they care about most. When you understand someone’s responsibilities, pressures, and goals, their decisions and communication style start to make a lot more sense.
And when you understand what someone is optimizing for, you can tailor your approach in a way that reduces friction and builds trust - without compromising your own values.
3. Four Common Workplace Personality Types - And How to Work With Them
You’ll see these personality patterns again and again at work. Most people are a mix, but recognizing the dominant style can help you adjust your approach before a conversation even starts.
Personality Type | Traits | How to Work With Them |
Driver | Direct, fast-paced, results-focused | Be concise and prepared with data and facts |
Analytical | Organized, data-driven, methodical | Share details, allow time to think, set clear expectations |
Amiable | Patient, team-oriented, avoids conflict | Be collaborative, avoid surprises, handle conflict privately |
Expressive | Big-picture, enthusiastic, creative | Encourage ideas, then follow up with structure and clarity |
Most people are a blend of different types, and the strongest teams have a healthy mix. The goal isn’t to box people in - it’s to understand how to work with them more effectively.
It’s also a powerful way to build trust. When you naturally match someone’s style - whether in tone, pace, or level of detail - they’re more likely to see you as aligned with them.
That said, you’re not trying to be a mind reader or a yes‑person. They still need to communicate what they expect from you. But most of the time, meeting people where they are - through small or big adjustments - goes a long way in creating smoother, more productive relationships.
Pacing: Adapting Without Losing Yourself
“Meeting people where they are” doesn’t mean being fake or giving up parts of yourself. It means being intentional about how you communicate.
A practical way to do this: pace the other person.
Pacing can be:
Implicit - matching someone’s body language
Explicit - matching someone’s energy, tone, or level of detail
And remember: your professional brand isn’t just the work you produce. It’s also how you communicate, how much you share, and how you show up in conversations. Oversharing, shutting down, or being overly casual can all send signals you never intended.
It All Starts With You
Navigating personalities at work is a skill. It starts with understanding yourself, expands into understanding others, and ultimately becomes the ability to flex your style so you can collaborate with almost anyone.
Just remember: you don’t have to be everything to everyone.
Choose your lane. Know your strengths. Build a brand rooted in consistency and trust. That’s how you earn credibility, influence, and long‑term success.
We’re rooting for you!
-Jessica (AL and Bridget)
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Career NorthStar is dedicated to helping early career professionals and leaders build the skills, confidence, and connections they need to thrive. We believe in purposeful leadership, proactive ownership, and creating opportunities for all professionals to succeed. https://www.careernorthstar.net/
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